How Well Do I know me?

            This week I was tasked with the responsibility of completing three communication quizzes and ask two other individuals to complete the same quizzes in order to assess my perception of myself and others’ perception of me.

            As it turns out, I know exactly who I am because the results were the same by all three individuals. I asked a co-worker and a close friend and it appears they both thought the same about me given the results.  --I am a People-oriented listener; my communication anxiety is situational (public speaking, presentations, etc.); My verbal aggressiveness is such that can influence others without personal attacks because I respect their thoughts and opinions even if I might not necessarily agree with them. 

            I take a lot of time to reflect on my life, encounters, and relationships that not much surprised me.  Reflection has a way of revealing information to you at the most random of times… sitting at my desk, watching TV, reading a book, talking to a friend... I enjoy reflecting because it keeps me relaxed… it helps me relieve stress… it makes me wise…

            I thought it was funny that the test said that I was trustful of others            when I know for sure that I am not.  I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, true, so I believe that is what was meant.  I do believe that my people-oriented listening skills are the reasons I find it easy to step into others’ shoes and respect them. 

Communication is becoming an intriguing subject for me; realizing that it is such an innate part of my life was empowering because it confirmed that I decide the course of my encounters.

My Communication

My Communcication

            Do I communicate differently with different groups of people? Who doesn’t?

We have family, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins…. Then there are your friends, best friends, close friends, and acquaintances…. Then there are your colleagues and your boss, supervisors, etc. …

            Your family gets the respectful but informal type of communication… then when you think of your elders and your siblings and cousins who are your age they get the same communication your friends would… completely informal and relaxed, friendly and warm.

Your colleagues could get both a formal and informal type of communication depending on the situation.

Your boss depending on the relationship you share will always have a respectful and formal response from you.  Personally my boss and I share a personal relationship, as a result depending on the setting and the context in which we are communicating she may get a formal response in a meeting but when I am at her house for dinner there is a much less formal atmosphere.

So my communication style changes with context, settings, situations, and relationships.  Being a chameleon is what makes me a competent communicator.

Communication: LUTHER

This week I decided to watch Luther, season 1 episode 1.  The show opens with a white man running.  His facial expressions give the impression that he is scared.  He is in a place that looks like a warehouse and is running up.  The next scene shows a fire truck and police cars pulling up giving you the impression that they might be after the guy running.  I then see a black man running up as well following the white man.  Recognizing why the white man is running I automatically assume that the black man is a policeman.  The white man reaches a point where no doors will open and when he tries to cross over a ledge to find an escape route; the black man corners him.  They exchange some words and the white guy grabs a metal bar as a weapon  but when he runs to hit the black guy, a piece of the ledge gives from under him … SWOOSH… and he is now hanging, holding on to a bar for dear life.

            Thinking the black man was going to help up was incorrect.  He tells him something and the white guy shakes his head and he begins to stomp in anger… BANG BANG BANG... close the man’s hands.  The white guy says something that makes the black guy get on the phone and that is when I realized that the fire truck and police cars are not at the same place (warehouse) the men are.  He is on the phone with another white man and woman, while looking down at the white man.  He holds on to his face indicating that he is experiencing something emotionally distressing or extreme anger.  The black man must have said something to the people in the neighborhood where the police cars were because they ran into a house and started to look for something… They pulled a little girl out of a box and began to give her CPR; when she starts to breathe again it is visible that everyone takes a sigh of relief.  The scene comes back to the man on the ledge and now I believe it is obvious that he is begging for his life but the black man lets him fall to his death. 

            Watching the show on mute, I deduce that the Black man chasing the man along with the white man and woman in the neighborhood are policemen.  They are clearly after the man running because he has kidnap and little girl and stuffed her in a box. What I did not understand is why he did not help the man and allowed him to fall.  When I listened to the clip, I realized I was correct in my assumption and realized that the black man “Luther” let “Henry” hang on the ledge in order to get information out of him.  When he got where the girl was and the girl was alive, he listed three of the girls Henry had killed and watched him fall to his death.  This exercise proves that nonverbal cues are more prevalent in language than verbal cues because I was able to correctly assess the turn of events with no words.  The words simply confirmed and turned my theories into facts.

Youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPJX27bBDp4

Competent Communication

When thinking of 'competent communication' one must realize that "it needs to be both effective and appropriate." Effective in that the cultural, situational, contextual aspect are taken into account and the message is delivered through the proper channel; in addition to the message itself being appropriate for the cultural setting, situation, and context in which the communicators are immersed  (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012)  
With that said, one person that communicates well and demonstrate competent communication is my father when lecturing his children.  He is always calm and seldom yells.  He always addressed the issue head on and explains to us why we are yet again being lectured.  He respects the fact that we have different ideas and listens to them prior to explaining why in our family certain behaviors are unacceptable.  Now that a majority of us are in adulthood, even when he disagrees, he never makes us feel that our differing ways of thinking is somewhat less then.  He simply respects that we are adults and have a different opinion than he does.
I would love to have the ability to remain calm like he does when discussing issues that I am passionate about.  I have also learned from him how to respect others' opinions even when they differ from mine.  I have learn how to be fair to others and to myself and continue to learn from him on a daily basis.
I would love to mimic my father's communication style because his integrity is reflected in his interactions. Reference
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Continuing the Journey...

This week, I would like to take the time to thank my Walden Family and send out "Well Wishes" to everyone.  One hope and goal I wish to accomplish is raising awareness to the culture of oppression that is innate to most societies. I am hoping awareness will change individual perspective which will eventually change collective perspectives.  In the words of Frederick Douglass: "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men".  Therein lies why I believe in early childhood; the teachers I train will benefit from the information I received from this class thus presenting a diverse perspective to the children in our care.
One very idealistic view I have for the early childhood field is for the professionals to cater to the emotional state of those around them, children and adults alike.  Only by truly believing in and living a life that respects diversity will we actually be able to teach children how to do so thus beginning to remove the culture of oppression and build a culture of mutual respect for individualism.
This class has been extremely enlightening.  I am finding that it is something that I am passionate about because I have began to apply it to my personal and professional life.  I find myself getting frustrated when those around me fail to understand why certain things are forms of oppression but understand this is a journey for me who was lucky enough to have taken this class but others are not even aware thus making it my responsibility to do so.
I thank Dr. Sheri for her dedication to the field and appreciate the time and the comments throughout the past eight weeks.  I appreciate her and my colleagues for the support and openness we share in recent weeks and hope and pray everyone's success in the future.
Keep fighting the good fight.
Annie P. :)

Serving Foreign Families

As early childhood professionals preparing to serve families from foreign countries should one aspect of preparedness taken into account.  Issues such as the language spoken, the dominant culture practiced, gender roles, family structure, and customs popular with children are things that can arm a professional with tools to provide effective service.  Understanding a country's history and how it came to be today might also give professionals great insight into a country's practiced culture.
Were I, a literacy coach, tasked with serving a family from Istanbul, Turkey, the very first thing I would do is research the history of the country and the city and some popular customs and beliefs.  I would learn family structures, religion practiced, and popular customs and beliefs.  I would need to know some cultural aspects that I could possibly do that might be taken offensively because I do not wish to alienate them from the program.
After doing research about country and Istanbul, I have learned the following and more:

1. Government: Republican parliamentary democracy (CIA Library, 2013)
2. Their independence day: October 29, 1923 (CIA Library, 2013)
3. Their flag:
4. Ethnic groups: Turkish 70-75%, Kurdish 18%, other minorities 7-12% (2008 est.) (CIA Library, 2013)
5. Languages spoken: Turkish (official), Kurdish,  (CIA Library, 2013) Arabic, Armenian, Greek (National Geographic, 2013)
6. Religion practiced:  Muslim 99.8% (mostly Sunni), other 0.2% (mostly Christians and Jews) (CIA Library, 2013)
7. 87% of the population is literate (National geographic, 2013)
8. Istanbul is the only city in the world that lies on two continents, Europe and Asia. (Turkey travel centre, 2013)
9. The country suffers from numerous military coups(1960, 1971, 1980, 1984) (CIA Library, 2013)

The information provided above will help me understand the families culture which will better equipped me with tools I need to respect the family's individuality.
In addition to doing research, I would prepare in the following ways:

1. Elicit the help of an interpreter after learning the language spoken by the family.
2. Create a diversity board with the flags of all the countries of the families we serve in addition to pictures of historical sites from all the countries
3. I would create a list of questions and/or a to-do list inquiring about the language, the family structure, the religion practiced, a list of things they find unacceptable, and provide them with a family handbook in their language, a list of expectations the program will have of them, a list of skills and teachings to which their child (ren) will exposed.
4. Make sure that my teachers are as informed as I am about the family.

The interpreter will help us communicate.  The diversity board with pictures of historical site is an attempt to make them feel welcome and provide a piece of home at school.  The list of questions is to keep my teachers and I informed because research only provides general information and a baseline for knowing the right questions to ask the family.  Ensuring that my teachers are as informed as I am will provide effective service to the family.


References:
http://www.turkeytravelcentre.com/blog/culture-traditions/
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/tu.html
http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/countries/turkey-facts/

Experiencing Bias, Prejudice, & Oppression

Witnessing bias, prejudice and oppression is a natural occurrence for individuals belonging to social identities considered inferior and/or invisible.  Almost daily I witness teachers telling crying students “Nothing is wrong with you so stop crying”.  My male friends constantly dish out sexist comments such as “women are sensitive, emotional, “trifling”” as if men can do no wrong.  My female counterparts tear at each other every chance they get.  My co-workers have been known to step on one another in order to get ahead and I find myself falling into stereotypes about other groups.  A co-worker approached me last week and stated “That was so unprofessional, this is why I don’t deal with your people” and thought that because she was biracial (black and white) her comment was not racist.  Even after I challenged her by stating “For one you’re grouping me in with African Americans and I can tell you my culture is somewhat different. Secondly, you’re invalidating my heritage by stating that I do not know how to be professional because you have deal with one or two or even three black people who were unprofessional.  Your statement is even more disrespectful because we have been working together for four year and have never known me to be unprofessional.  You, yourself have stated that I might be the most professional of all your co-workers.”  I shake my head at these types of interactions and prior to this diversity course I probably would not have challenged her on the comment.

            To be quite frank the interaction did not incite all negative feelings because of the diversity class in which I am currently enrolled.  I did realize how passionate I have become about issues of diversity but understood that she was a victim of her environment and if I continue to allow instances such as this one go on unchallenged I would be just as responsible as society for the isms it created.  I would be supporting the inequity it creates for those social groups who are marginalized and oppressed.  From our interaction I could easily assume that the likelihood of our organization hiring a black own business was slim to none but because I challenge her on the comment and made her realize how much she valued me as an employee and how sound my work ethics was, I challenged the racists recordings (Margles & Margles, 2010) she inherited from her culture and reminded her of her black half.  I showed her the “your people” she referred to in that statement included her father and how would he feel if he overheard her statement.  I believe I did use the opportunity to create greater opportunities for equity and forced her to reflect on the comment she made.

References

Margles, S., & Margles, R. M. (2010). Inverting racism's distortions. Our Schools/Our Selves,

19(3), 137—149